Cocktail bar, Norway: "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar".
Zoo, Budapest: "Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty".
Doctor's office, Rome: "Specialist in women and other diseases".
Hotel, Acapulco: "The manager has personally passed all the water served here".
User's manual for air-conditioning device, hotel, Japan: "Cooles and heates: If you want condition of warm air in your room, please control yourself".
Hotel, Italy: "This hotel is renowned for its peace and solitude. In fact, crowds from all over the world flock here to enjoy its solitude".
Restaurant, Nairobi: "Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager".
Highway which crosses river: "Take note: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable".
Advertising billboard: "Are you an adult that cannot read? If so, we can help".
Restaurant, London: "Open seven days a week, and weekends too".
Mental health clinic sign: "Mental health prevention centre".
Sign in public toilet for hand dryer: "Do not activate with wet hands".
Hotel, Tokyo: "Guests are requested not to smoke or do other disgusting behaviours in bed".
Cemetery: "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves".
Restaurant menu, Switzerland: "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for".
Bar, Tokyo: "Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts".
Temple in Bangok: "It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man".
Hotel, Thailand: "Please do not bring solicitors into your room".
Hotel, Bukarest: "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable".
Hotel, Paris: "Please leave your values at the front desk".
Hotel, Yugoslavia: "The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid".
Hotel, Japan: "You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid".
Hotel, opposite a cemetery, Moscow: "You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous russian and soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except thursday".
Skier's resort, Austria: "Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension".
Super-Market, Hong-Kong: "For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service".
From "Soviet Weekly": "There will be a moscow exhibition of arts by 15,000 soviet republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years".
Newspaper, South Africa: "A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers".
Sign at Germany's Black Forrest: "It is strictly forbidden on our black forrest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for this purpose".
Hotel, Zurich: "Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose".
Dental clinic, Hong-Kong: "Teeth extracted by the latest methodists".
Laundromat, Rome: "Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time".
Travel agency, Czech republic: "Take one of our horse-driven city tours. We guarantee no miscarriages".
Motel, Switzerland: "Special today - no ice-cream".
Airline office add, Copenhagen: "We take your bags and send them in all directions".
Hotel, Moscow: "If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it".